‘Be-do-have’ is a framework that people commonly use to measure their life.

Mostly people operate from either a ‘doing’ identity, or ‘having’ identity; i.e.I am good because I have this job. ‘Doing’ identity is I am good because I do this work. However these identities lock you up. If my identity is in ‘have’ then I get locked up in a mode where I judge myself (and others) automatically, and end up being materialistic.

Put simply, when my identity is linked to ‘what I have’, I judge myself in ‘what I have‘. E.g., ‘what do I have’ comes from ‘what do I do’. But your identity is at a very surface level. When I am doing, my identity is a little deeper, at an action level. And in terms of ‘being’ it means ‘who am I’, ‘am I happy’. Usually ‘be-do-have’ is used as a framework for whether I am happy, I am fulfilled and I am comfortable, those kinds of areas start coming here.

But I find that ‘be-do-have’ framework is not a very good framework for living life.

Actually the framework that one can move into is ‘being and becoming’. Being then becomes your role and becoming comes through contribution.

‘Be-do-have’ is a static framework of life. It gives a static identity. ‘Be-do-have’ is a snapshot of who you are right now; so – who are you? what do you do? & what do you have? Because it is static, it locks you up where you are. If I am locked up in ‘having’ then I become locked up in acquiring more and more. If I am locked up in ‘doing’ then also I am locked up, because then I become process oriented in life. Because I am more worried in what I do compared to what contributions I make. In ‘being’, I am excessively concerned about whether I am happy, not happy, whether I am ok or I am not ok. So there is an excessive concern with oneself and it becomes very static. Everything looks frozen in life.

On the other hand ‘being and becoming’, takes a radically different view of myself as a person in motion. One is the static view of oneself and one is an evolutionary view of oneself. When you view yourself in evolution then every experience becomes a learning experience. Every trouble becomes a challenge which I overcome and transform myself.

If I am in static framework then every change looks like a threat to me. It makes me go into a shell and I operate little out of fear.Then even in small matters, I want to keep people out of things. So, if I am working on something, I do not want others’ feedback, I do not want others to get involved, etc.

All these happen in an organization. They happen because it is all ‘be-do-have’. It is not because the person is bad, just that you are locked up in a static view. Any new thing comes, it becomes a pain in a ‘Be do have’ framework because I am in a static frame then any change is not good.

So, ‘being and becoming’ is a ready-to-go state of mind in life. ‘Becoming’ happens because of active contribution.

My general recommendation is that people should have a dynamic view of life because life is itself changing. The ‘being and becoming’ frame gives lots of space to grow and be happy while in ‘be-do-have’, you get locked up very badly very soon.

This is the difference.

(excerpts from a talk with the i-become team -14th December 2009)

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